Hello 2014!

Hello Lovelies! I am so happy to be back after an extended leave of absence from the blog and all of you. I have so missed blogging, but in the last few weeks of the semester I wrote over 10,000 words in 4 research essays and could not bring myself to write another word. Plus, with the multiple all-nighters studying for tests, preparing for presentations, and writing the aforementioned papers, time to blog, hard as I tried, was no where to be found. But enough about how chaotic the end of the semester was. On to thanking you all for being so wonderful, supportive, and understanding. I promise a recap shortly! But I do have one thing to share, because I cannot wait to jump up and down and tell you; I am pleased to announce, that all of the hard work this semester paid off, and I received a 4.0 for the Fall semester!! I am so proud to have succeeded in juggling my 5 grad classes while working and starting this blog.

While 2013 was a banner year, I believe that there is always room for improvement. Building off the momentum from last year, my resolutions continue on previous goals, as well as strive for new opportunities of growth. So here goes:

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For the past two years, part of my new year’s resolutions have been to go to church. It may seem silly, but for a long time I did not attend mass. I was born and raised Catholic but during my five years in undergrad I wandered around, studying aboard and majoring in Comparative Religion. I sampled other faiths and tried to find that “thing” I always felt was missing from my religious upbringing. As a skeptic, a rationalist, a perfectionist, and a previously clinically depressed young person, I was grasping for something outside of myself that could help pull me up from rock bottom. I found a home in Buddhist philosophy for many years and accredit it with saving my life. It made sense, was pragmatic, and fit into my life. Daily mediation, readings, and retreats all helped me heal. But since graduating, traveling, seeing, learning, laughing, crying, and living, I have grown, changed, and in turn, have renewed my faith in and returned to the Catholic church, finally finding a parish that feels like home. Attending church keeps me centered and connected. Going weekly keeps love, gratitude, forgiveness, and kindness in the forefront of my daily life. During the school year, it is more difficult to convince my body to get up and go on Sunday mornings, which are usually reserved for catching up on all the sleep I miss during the week. By the end of this year, and post graduation, my goal is to be attending regularly and become a registered member at my parish.

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Work, school, sleep. Repeat. Not much of a life, but ’tis the life of a graduate student. However, I am so much more than just a grad student, right? I am a daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, blogger, and adventurer at heart. I want to make sure that this year I don’t give up any part of me for another. Sometimes being a student can be all-consuming so one of my resolutions during my last semester is to maintain a complete sense of self, and not be derailed by only focusing on parts of me instead me as a whole. I have been a student for over 25 years, and once I graduate this May, I will have a whole new schedule to fill. I want to make sure that I am spending time on all the things I both need and want to-relationships, family, work, health, fitness, faith, and blogging. This goal also ties into all my other resolutions as allocating time for all of the priorities in my life is imperative to finding balance.

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So, its not really a secret that I am not a size 2, or even a size 6, and I have never really cared about the tags on my clothes, but only that I felt healthy and strong. Lately though, I have been feeling anything but healthy, and its not just the result of an overdose on holiday sweets. As I’m sure most of you experienced, transitioning from high school to college and college to grad school can be rough on the body and these past 5 years in particular for me have been a constant yo-yo up and down, reaching higher and higher on the up swings over the years. It has been a struggle for me to transition from high school dancer, to college intramural soccer player, to grad student whose only exercise is running from work to school and back again. I have joined gyms, tried juicing, done weight watchers, and many other diets and exercise regimens, but as soon as I am in the throws of the semester, I cant keep up and gain everything back. When I am stressed, I revert back to bad habits; emotional eating, fast food runs, late night dinners; I let school become an excuse for not having time to do anything in my life, including exercise and eating well. This year however, I am even more committed then in the past, as I graduate and will have no more excuses for not taking proper care of myself. Additionally, this year concludes with my 30th birthday and I am determined to enter the next decade of my life free from the discomfort of the extra padding I have been carrying around. While I don’t have a concrete goal for how much weight to lose, I do want to lose enough to start feeling fit, flexible, toned, and generally like my “old” self, feeling good is my goal, not hitting a certain dress size.

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Well this post turned out to be something of an epic confessional. In that vain, I will continue by sharing my penchant from concealing my feelings. Without going into every sorted detailed of my childhood and past relationships, lets just say that I have a normal, verging on paralyzing fear of being hurt emotionally. I do not share very freely my feelings and tend not to carry my heart on my sleeve. However, this year I am making a concerted effort to tell the people in my life how I feel about them and often. Life is short, and I want to fill mine with love, laughter, and happiness, and I don’t want a day to go by where I miss an opportunity to share my affection and gratitude to those people in my life that deserve it. I resolve to spread the love this year!

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This year I am hoping to find my grove with the blog. Obviously it is something I do because I love it, on the side of everything else on my plate. I don’t want it to feel like work, and I am definitely going to try to stop feeling guilty when I am unable to post as frequently as I want to, there are just not enough hours in the day sometimes. But please know that I will make this as much as a priority as humanly possible given everything else going on. I also hope to continue meeting new bloggers, interacting with new followers, and work to bring you quality content on the blog. I cannot wait to see what new relationships form, inspiration is shared, and challenges met this year! As always, if you have any questions, comments, or ideas, please feel free to send me a message or email!

Well those are my goals and resolutions for 2014. Can you tell I have missed writing? Ha! I know that I have a lot of work to do, but I am determined to start living a life I am proud of, love, and am excited to wake up to everyday. I can’t imagine what paths lay ahead, but pray to meet each of them with a open heart and mind.